writing

=Four Picture Story=

Once upon a time, in a foreign planet named the Land of Nowhere there lived two unusual characters, Snakey and Mr Eeliow. Mr Eeliow was incredibly gangsta, quite b’dass, and knew all the hip street lingo and Flo Rida lyrics. Snakey was a jock, a fitness freak, and had a grey/blue belt in karate. They lived together in happiness for many years until one day there peaceful lifestyle was disrupted - THE TOILET CAME.

The toilet came from a foreign land, on four wheels, and was larger than average. It arrived with a bang, crushing there precious home.

“Oh no!” Wailed Snakey.

Mr Eeliow, though very emotional as well, was too concerned about his gangsta reputation to let any tears escape.

“Bro, my Homie, we’re all G, look - I smell revenge,” Mr Eeliow said. “The toilet has a name on the back, can you dig it?”

Sure enough, when Snakey looked, he saw an address printed clearly on it; 123, Down Town New York, Earth. So, both Snakey and Mr Eeliow boarded the magical toilet of unusual size and made the trip.

Light years away, in Down Town New York, an unfortunate man named Usouf Jones was being repeatedly attacked by angry water balloons, also out for revenge, due to the fact that Usouf stepped on their beloved cousin, Squidgy, the week before. Snakey and Mr Eeliow landed on Earth with a splash. They had landed in the Bermuda Triangle!!! The toilet sunk to the bottom, and the two of them pushed the lid open and swam out. It did not take them long to swim to South Porta Rico, with Snakey on Mr Eeliows back. They then tunneled to Down Town New York, number 123. Mr Eeliow felt quite at home, and was eager to flaunt his knowledge of life on the streets, often pointing out homeless people and saying things like “I feel your pain, Bro,” or, “You had a rough ride Homie, but you’re with a Ruff Rida”. Snakey, though he understood little of this, was well impressed.

It wasn’t long before they came upon the unlucky, Usouf Jones, who had just managed to beat off the water balloons and was stopping to catch his breath. Snakey slithered stealthily, whispering the very menacing line of “Sssss...” under his breath. Usouf caught sight of the two, and yelped.

“You’re time has come, severely saturated guy, you’re Dead Meat.” Hissed Snakey. Mr Eeliow nodded in agreement, while wriggling closer to Usouf.

Usouf looked confused. “W- w - what have I d - done?” He stammered.

“Look Dog, I’m sure you’re a smooth player, but you destroyed my crib. And I’m not down with that!” Yelled Mr Eeliow.

They were momentarily distracted by Snakey, who had been carrying on with his ‘Sssss’ ing, as he choked on the noise and began spluttering and coughing. He looked up, and realized all eyes were on him.

“Er, sorry, don’t mind me! Please, continue...” He muttered.

Usouf shook his head in wonder. “I d - d - don’t under st- st - stand...” Usouf whimpered.

“Your toilet! You sent it flying, it crushed our home, but what goes up, must come down - and we hitched a ride when it did!” Said Snakey. He was tired with explanations and hungry for the action to begin. “And now - consequences!” Snakey slithered closer to Usouf, poised to attack, but - what’s this? - his way was blocked! A wire fence blocked his way forward, and he couldn’t get through!

Snakey, however, was undefeated. He opened his powerful jaws wide and closed them on the fence and began to chomp his way through the wire. Mr Eeliow watched in amazement, and Usouf gazed at the determined snake with eyes wide with horror. Snakey cut through the first strip of wire, but being a monstrous anaconda, he would not fit through a gap that small and began on the one below it. It was nearly snapped, Usouf’s time was nearly up.

All of a sudden, the magical toilet came wheeling through at the speed of light! It headed straight for Mr Eeliow, as if it had a mind of it’s own, and knocked his tail out from under him! The lid slammed shut on Mr Eeliow, but opened again as the insane loo backed up once more and came charging for Snakey, taking Snakey prisoner in the bowl!

Usouf could only watch in astonishment - this was easily the most bizzare thing he had ever seen! The toilet backed up, and zoomed over the fence, almost like the fence was a ramp, and seemed to gather speed as he shot into outer space to return the two to their home planet.

Usouf laughed with giddy relief. “Well! I guess what starts down, then goes up, then comes down again, must go up again! I mean, what goes up, after being down, and then... Wait, that’s not right - what goes up... Oh, who cares!”

BY EMMA H & PETER L

...We’ll be back...